Loading...
Loading...
Click here if you don’t see subscription options
Bill SimmonsJanuary 28, 2021

On hearing a baby cry
I lost myself on myself
60 years ago, the horror
I was born knowing,
Knowing existence is brutal,
Thoughts chaotic; hate and
Desperation, all I knew.
Somehow I got Memory,
And I knew this wasn’t right.
I would stand out in the mallows
And cow pastures, arms and eyes
Opened wide, crying, praying:
“God, why am I here?
Why did You put me here?
This is the wrong house.
I don’t know these people.
I don’t belong here.
They don’t want me.
Who am I?”
Then I’d shudder and walk
Back to the house hoping
No one, except God, heard me.

Bill Simmons

Bill Simmons writes and lives in Carroll, Iowa. He conducts the poetry group in Carroll and started a writers’ group with Des Moines Area Community College instructors in Boone, Iowa.

Provide feedback on this article

We don’t have comments turned on everywhere anymore. We have recently relaunched the commenting experience at America and are aiming for a more focused commenting experience with better moderation by opening comments on a select number of articles each day.

But we still want your feedback. You can join the conversation about this article with us in social media on Twitter or Facebook, or in one of our Facebook discussion groups for various topics.

Or send us feedback on this article with one of the options below:

We welcome and read all letters to the editor but, due to the volume received, cannot guarantee a response.

In order to be considered for publication, letters should be brief (around 200 words or less) and include the author’s name and geographic location. Letters may be edited for length and clarity.

We open comments only on select articles so that we can provide a focused and well-moderated discussion on interesting topics. If you think this article provides the opportunity for such a discussion, please let us know what you'd like to talk about, or what interesting question you think readers might want to respond to.

If we decide to open comments on this article, we will email you to let you know.

If you have a message for the author, we will do our best to pass it along. Note that if the article is from a wire service such as Catholic News Service, Religion News Service, or the Associated Press, we will not have direct contact information for the author. We cannot guarantee a response from any author.

We welcome any information that will help us improve the factual accuracy of this piece. Thank you.

Please consult our Contact Us page for other options to reach us.

City and state/province, or if outside Canada or the U.S., city and country. 
When you click submit, this article page will reload. You should see a message at the top of the reloaded page confirming that your feedback has been received.

Most popular

1
The atomic nightmare turns 80: How Catholics reacted to the arrival of nuclear bombs
James T. Keane
2
The history of the Sistine Chapel—where cardinals will choose the next pope
James T. Keane
3
Do Tenured Theologians Have a Duty to Focus More on Academic Labor in Higher Education?
Tom Beaudoin
4
Humanity's Cross
John F. Kavanaugh
5
King Coal
The Editors

Your source for jobs, books, retreats, and much more.

President – Loyola High School – Detroit
High Schools
Program Manager, Pacific Alliance for Catholic Education (PACE) – University of Portland
Jobs
Find Grace and Hope in Long-Term Grief – An Online Course
Spiritual Resources
Saint Joseph’s Seminary – The Major Seminary of the Archdiocese of New York
Seminaries & Theology Studies
Loyola on the Potomac, A Jesuit Retreat House
Retreat Houses, Retreats
See all Classifieds

The latest from america

Pope Leo visits teen hospitalized during Jubilee of Youth
Pope Leo said that if the teen “had come all the way to Rome, then (the pope) could come all the way to the hospital to see him.”
Carol Glatz - Catholic News Service August 05, 2025
On the line between faith and doubt
A Reflection for Tuesday of the Eighteenth Week in Ordinary Time, by Molly Cahill
Molly CahillAugust 04, 2025
Pope Leo offers prayers after shipwreck of migrant boat off Yemen
As emergency workers searched for survivors and tried to recuperate the bodies of the dead, Pope Leo XIV offered his prayers for people impacted by the latest shipwreck of a migrant boat off the coast of Yemen.
Catholic News ServiceAugust 04, 2025
Mass celebrated at ‘Alligator Alcatraz’ for detained Catholic migrants
The Archdiocese of Miami celebrated the first Mass for detainees at “Alligator Alcatraz,” the Trump administration’s controversial immigrant detention center in the Florida Everglades.
Gina Christian - OSV NewsAugust 04, 2025